i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
