you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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