I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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