why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My dick has a subreddit
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
