I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
