why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
