That's intense
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
