I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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