all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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