You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
