I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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