My sheets look like a crime scene.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
how do flat chested girls get laid?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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