im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
