I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
