Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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