This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
