i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
