Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
There's even glitter on my cock...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
