no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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