He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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