What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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