Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
