So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
