so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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