One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I can't put those talents on a resume
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
