It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
