I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
