pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
