i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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