you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Randomize
