Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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