I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
