And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
