i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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