I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
