cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
