Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Even my vagina gasped.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
