I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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