That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
