gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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