she was so not down for the gang bang
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
