He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
