Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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