with your own penis?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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