Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
