Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
