I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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