and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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