she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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