Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
