literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize