I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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