Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize