Soap is not a condiment
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize