she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
