I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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