What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
