put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
