i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
this is an emotional support booty call
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
