guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
