Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
