I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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