How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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