I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Randomize
