I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
