one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
