My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
